Caulk!

Thinking of caulking your bathtub? Well, stop. It’s a bad idea. That doesn’t mean you have to skip the trip to the hardware store, but be careful when approaching the elderly greeter who may be hard-of-hearing: make sure to enunciate as clearly as possible when saying “I need some caulk, please” or you may get more than you bargained for.

DIRTY CLOTHES & DIRTY LAUNDRY

A typically trying time at the neighborhood laundromat and a look at what it’s like to grow up in Dallas, Texas — home to the Kennedy assassination and J.R. Ewing. Dirty laundry, indeed!

SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS & SOUL-SUCKING DOLLS

Meet Shrinkin’ Violette, Mattel’s anti-empowerment doll for little girls.

My name is Paula, and I, too am a shrinking violet. I learned everything that’s made me ME by taking Violette’s pearls of wisdom a little too much to heart: “I’m afraid of noisy boys,” “I have butterflies in my stomach,” “Please help me talk to people,” “It’s just awful to be shy,” and, the pièce-de-résistance “I’m afraid of EVERYTHING.”