SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS & SOUL-SUCKING DOLLS

Shrinkin’ VioletteHalf of my neighbors moved out today. I hope it wasn’t something I said. I live in an old building with four apartments, and two of the tenants chose to move on the same day. Actually, I was hoping I’d become friends with the Irish woman who lived across the hall. I spent an evening in her apartment a couple of months ago, drinking wine, consoling her after a death. We had a nice time, and I met a friend of hers who was dropped off by her boyfriend so that she could secretly meet up with some married guy from Norway she was “dating.” Actually, she was “dating” three different men, all of whom were shoveling money in her direction and providing her places to live in three states and two countries. I didn’t believe people like her actually existed — she was such an unapologetic gold-digger that I could only marvel at how horrible some women can be. I wondered how my neighbor — who is very sweet — would have a person like that as her friend. Oh well. I guess I’ll never know — I’m sure I’ll never see her again. We would always chit-chat when we saw each other, but I’m afraid she may have taken my shyness as aloofness. A lot of people do. My inability to initiate contact with another human being is downright pathetic. I don’t know what I’m so afraid of. Sheesh.

 

I had a weird talking doll when I was little. She had a great big head with yellow yarn hair and she wore a purple dress. Her voice trembled when she talked. Her name was Shrinkin’ Violette. You’d pull her string and she’d say things like, “My name’s Shrinkin’ Vi-o-lette,” “I’m afraid of noisy boys,” “I have butterflies in my stomach,” “Please help me talk to people,” “It’s just awful to be shy,” and, the pièce-de-résistance “I’m afraid of everything.” Who makes something like this for a CHILD?! This would certainly be politically incorrect these days — an ANTI-empowerment doll for little girls. I think I took ol’ Vi-o-lette a bit too much to heart. I now see that my social awkwardness can be blamed on that damn doll. Is it too late, do you think, to be de-programmed? Perhaps Mattel would pick up the tab….

 

Shrinkin’ Violette

Shrinkin’ Violette with box

 


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